What To Do Before Asking

I’m watching the new Disney Movie, The Lion King, as I’m flying from Maputo to Lisbon. At one point I had to pause it as I was intrigued about what Mufasa (the Lion King) said to his son, Simba (the future King). Mufasa’s words got me writing what you are about to read.

In the first article I wrote for Voices.Digital I stated that asking shouldn’t be a hard thing to do. In fact, that was the title of the article. Spoiler alert, this article too, is about Asking. Same Same…But Different. Different as I will share a different angle of the theme. Not saying what I will share is a novelty for you (if it is, awesome)…but it will be a different approach from the first one. Not opposite, different!

One of my missions is to inspire you to ask more for the things you want and need. Therefore what you are about to read may sound contradictory. And I say that because, what if, before asking, we take a step back? Let me explain: Before striking the ask, what if, we, first ask the person we want to ask something “how can I help you?”. Furthermore, do some extra homework. Look for what areas they operate, and see how you may add value to them – do this, you will then get what you will ask from them afterwards.

I said it before and I will say it again: “It takes a lot of vulnerability to ask for something. And it takes courage to be vulnerable”. It doesn’t matter how vulnerable you are, chances are (I’d say 50/50) you may be perceived as a selfish, self centered person that only thinks about yourself.

Read this related idea:  Asking Shouldn’t be a Hard Thing to Do

There are many ‘what IFs’ that may pop into our minds. It’s hard not to listen to them (i.e: what if I don’t get what I want; what if they perceive me as greedy; what if…; what if…; what if). There are a gazillion what IFs when it comes to asking.

But (and I hate the word but…but this is a big BUT), if you ask how can you help them, before even ask for what you want and need, you will come off as different, selfless and a caring person. I guarantee you, that your chances of getting your yes will increase compared to if you went straight to your ask.

I would not end the article without sharing with you what Mufasa said to Simba. These are his exact words:

“While others search for what they can take, a true king searches for what he can give”.

My dear Queens and Kings, I have a challenge for you:

  1. Take a moment to think about something you want or need;
    • It needs to be something that in order to get it, you need to ask it to someone;
    • Now that you know what to ask and to whom, do the homework in finding out how can you help them first before landing your ask;
  2. Offer your help;
  3. And now… now it’s time to ask!

Author: Lerio CunhaInternational Trainer, Keynote Speaker & Coach